Bilvavi Mishkan Evneh; Book 2
Chapter 18:
Fear due to perfection and building of the will:
Fear due to honor: this is easier if one has a very strong desire for honor. If not, the imaginative faculty is not strong enough in most of us to work at attaining this one. It is better to attain fear of punishment and skip to fear based on perfection.
Since we may desire to be close to Hashem, but not strongly enough to refrain from sinning, there are two facts we must know and internalize:
1. The purpose of life is to attain closeness to Hashem (and have strong ratzon-will/desire for it)
2. sin opposes the ratzon and prevents it
How to develop the ratzon differs in each person:
Our goal:
To awaken a strong inner ratzon to become close to Hashem.
1. how badly do you want to feel close?
2. how much do you want to want to feel close?
How can we arouse our ratzon to be close to Hashem?
1. Zohar: through self afflicted suffering (two issues with this a. may not really feel it b. may fall into a pit of despair)
2. opposite approach and perfect for our growth in this time period; devote an hour a day and pray for it: a. pray that you truly want to be close to Hashem, or even pray for the ratzon to want to be close to Hashem.
3. If you cannot arouse your ratzon to pursue Hashem, "go to tzadikim and listen to their words and admonishments until something cracks open inside of you...people who speak words of truth...the words that emanate from their hearts will enter your heart."
("the bitterness over lack of ratzon for closeness to Hashem is itself a great tikun/rectification")
Before starting to work on any area in self improvement, must really WANT it.
Once you feel your life depends on this improvement, you will have no trouble doing it over and over again- "a person delights in something he feels is vital".
Sefarim hakedoshim state: "the innermost level of ratzon is oneg (pleasure)"
So if you feel the oneg that comes from the ratzon i.e., the delight in closeness to Hashem and learning Torah, you pursue them because of the inner delight.
But problem is before we can feel the ratzon with oneg, we feel the ratzon without it, also called kaf hakela (the slingshot)=the frustration and pain one feels from unfulfilled desire.
IMPORTANT TO KNOW: "every human being must experience the pain of unfulfilled ratzon." If you don't fulfill it in this world then it will be in next world chas veshalom.
Realize that this type of frustration is for our benefit, and use it to develop true ratzon to be close to Hashem.
"Each soul comes into this world to fulfill a minimum quota of suffering. One who understands that he cannot escape suffering prefers to willfully asume it by working to become close to Hashem without receiving satisfaction, rather than suffering in some other manner." eg of Yakov avinu who wished to dwell in peace
How do we know when we have a strong enough ratzon?
It must trouble you and live with you each moment, so the light of Hashem can rest on you and you feel the oneg.
Next week please read chapter 19.
In Forest Fields: (pgs 149-159)
What did Rav Shalom learn from his debts?
The problem Hashem sent him was a lever, to deepen his relationship with Hashem.
1. Thank Hashem for any problem you have. Rejoice in it. why?!?!?! it's a "prime stimulus to inspire your prayer and repentance."
2. Then speak about the specifics of the problem to Hashem
3. Suffering then evokes the feeling that all Hashem does is for the good.
Every movement of a Jew affects the higher worlds. So if we sing and dance amidst the pain in suffering, our thanking and singing mitigate all harsh judgements.
(examples of yehei shmei raba and aleinu page154)
Thanking Hashem is the ultimate goal because this life is ALL about a relationship with Him.
With emunah life's challenges become part of a beautiful journey to be close to Hashem.
"There are no mistakes...everthing that takes place is exactly what you need for your specific tikun...the yetzer hara tries to convince you that this challenge will kill you, when, in fact, it's the best thing in the universe for you...even when we fail, we make a mistake, learn from it, and become better people...negative character trait? good! makes you fight to get close to Hashem all the time."
Please finish this chapter for next week (159-163)
Jewish Meditation
Chapter 3: Techniques
"There are a finite number of ways in which a person can interact with his own mind, and these form the categories of all meditation=controlled manner of thinking."16
What you don't need: special surroundings, or particular body positions, nothing mysterious about it.
All you do: for a specific period of time, you think about something specific, rather than let your mind wander randomly.
What do you do when other thoughts try to creep in?
a. push them out gently
b. pull your mind back to the desired subject
Hashem is beyond us and within us. so there are two ways to discover Him:
1.Beyond us: reflect on questions such as: what is beyond time and space?How did this world come to be? What was before time?
2. Within us: delve into the self: "what do i ultimately want out of life? what gives my life meaning? what is the meaning of life in general? If i had my life to live over, what would i do with it? what ideals, id any would i be willing to die for? what would bring me more happiness than anything in the world?"
These two together show the concept that Hashem is above and beyond and within all at the same time.
Avrahom Avinu discovered Hashem by contemplating the meaning of life, then he began to have a dialogue with Him. (paradigm of how to begin a relationship with G-d)
To alleviate the problem of random thoughts popping up in your dialogue with Hashem, try speaking out loud: "Using oral conversation as a meditative technique is an ancient Jewish practice...stressed by Rebbe Nachman"
(How amazing that this is exactly what we are working on!)
Three things we learn to do in this type of meditation:
1. verbal : speech or thoughts rather than images
2. inner directed-the form of meditation comes from within rather than from external stimulus
3. unstructured: no idea which direction the meditation will take.
finish chapter 3 for next week, pgs19-24
avodah for this week:
1. the reading for the three seforim
2. speaking out loud to Hashem for six minutes, using the final minute to practice this form of meditation, by asking yourself the questions underlined above and listening for the answers.
a. first minute; thank Hashem for general-daily gifts
b. second minute; thank Hashem for specific last 24 hours
c. third minute; thank Hashem for any difficulty you have - and teshuva for last 24 hours
d. fourth minute; ask for clarity how to deal with it- any teshuva left from last 24 hours
e. fifth and sixth minute: begin asking the underlined questions to yourself, begin answering out loud. If you find the answers don't lead you to Hashem and feeling close to Him, begin from : "Hashem- please give me the ratzon to want to be close to You."
OKAY!
This is A LOT of work- I know you can do it- just set a timer for 6 minutes!
Love, aviva rus
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