When the world was created, each day had a pair except for Shabbos. Hashem said to Shabbos 'your pair will be Bnei Yisrael'. On Shabbos Hagadol we took the step (blood on the doorposts) to become a nation and thereby became a pair to Shabbos. (Divrei Chaim)
Sfat Emet states that this is a supernatural Shabbos and at candle lighting we should take on a small commitment toward growth. (Rabbanit Yemima Mizrachi parsha sheets)
We have been cleaning our external environment until now with the intention of cleaning our internal self of any chometz.
Many of us took on something small already.
(Rabbi Nivin Chaburah)
----Perhaps add one small thing to that commitment or re-commit to it when lighting the candles.
Bottom line- it's the ratzon to want to rid ourselves of the chometz that will bring us close to Hashem. (Alei Shur)
Remember, we take one small step and Hashem does the results.
We all want a beautiful - connected to Hashem- full of emunah- seder. We all want the geulah.
Why does it feel so far, beyond our grasp?
Believe me, I think about this a lot. I see many of us are in pain and in extremely difficult situations. Even those of us who are not in times of tzaros feel pain!
From reading and listening to shiurim about Pesach, it has become increasingly clear to me that the ball is in our court. It is up to us to take that one small step that will bring the geulah.
First, each of us must know how much Hashem loves every single one of us- no matter what mistakes were made in the past. It is the now, this moment, that exists. (Rav Moshe Weinberger)
-----take the list of things that are causing you to feel removed from Hashem and place it in the fire during biur chometz. (Rabbi Nivin, Rabbanit Yemima)
If you don't love yourself yet and see the real you, a pure shining neshama contained in a special kli, your body, then add that to the paper and burn it. (Label that lack of self awareness;)
Second, the seder! We each have a different vision of how we want to experience our seder. However, let's remove all the outer layers and go to the foundation: EMUNAH. The bottom line is that all the times we feel far from Hashem, it is from a lack of emunah.
The seder is the antidote. We are supposed to act as if we are being redeemed all over again.
Zohar: Matzoh is the food of healing - it's vitamins that fill us with emunah. Matzoh has the power to erase any doubts(Rav Aharon Weinberg, nesivos;pesach)-
It is a night of above nature nissim. We are above malachim on this night! It is the Rosh Hashana for emunah! Avnei Nezer says that if a person has the teshuka (desire) to change on this night, Hashem makes it happen. (Rav Aharon weinberg)
Sfat Emet says in the name of Maharal "anyone who acts k'ilu- as though- on this night will have his/her 'as though' become their reality" (Rabbanit Yemima Mizrachi)
----have a clear idea of what your 'as though' looks like =something that you want to be redeemed from...so that you can feel and sense Hashem with deep emunah.
Our greatest feelings of pleasure come from this sensation of emunah coursing through our souls and body, unifying the two to serve Hashem and thereby, express our love back to Him, as a refelction of His love for us.
If you have more time- see the story below that really shows this idea!
Chag Kasher Vesameach
Love, aviva rus